And I don't know why.

Three things.
First off, new Lona.mildlymiffed.com
I hope those from Auburn appreciate it.

Second off, I, on an ill-advised whim, I decided to go to Staten Island, and in failing repeatedly to get there I learned why New Jersey is the butt of so many jokes. Maybe it's just Newark. The rest of he state seems nice.

Thirdly, I wrote the equivalent of an electronic stress ball, in the form of a bash script on Friday. Have fun!
It runs with one argument, but if you feel adventurous, try it without any arguments and see what happens.

#!/bin/bash
FB1="Facebook"
FB2="facebook"
FB3="Facebook.com"
FB4="facebook.com"
if [ "$1" == "" ]; then
      clear
      echo "No system given."
      echo "Default: purging local machine."
      sudo sleep 1
      clear
      echo "Root access established."
      echo "Purging System..."
      echo "Shredding all files, options: -f -n 3 -z -u"
      sleep 10
      echo "Shredding all backups..."
      sleep 10
      echo "Purge complete. (Yes, it was that fast.)"
      echo "Covering tracks(1): Erasing third party logs..."
      sleep 3
      echo "Covering tracks(2): Erasing local logs..."
      sleep 1
      echo "It's like you were never here."
      sleep 35
      sudo shutdown -h now
else
      clear
      echo "Interfacing with $1 network..."
      sleep 2
      echo "Gaining access..."
      sleep 4
      echo "Root access established."
      echo "Purging System..."
      echo "Shredding all files, options: -f -n 3 -z -u"
      sleep 10
      echo "Shredding all backups..."
      sleep 15
      echo "Purge of $1 complete. (Yes, it was that fast.)"
      echo "Covering tracks(1): Erasing $1 logs..."
      sleep 1
      echo "Covering tracks(2): Erasing third party logs..."
      sleep 3
      echo "Covering tracks(3): Erasing local logs..."
      sleep 1
      echo "Bragging: Posting on $FB1, \"I just brought down the $1 computer system!\" "
      if [ "$1" == "$FB1" ]||[ "$1" == "$FB2" ]||[ "$1" == "$FB3" ]||[ "$1" == "$FB4" ]; then
            sleep 3
            echo "ERROR: cannot establish $FB1 connection."
      fi
      echo "Hacking complete."
fi