Top Ten Overrated Things

Here is another top ten list from Mildlymiffed.com
Because here, we (I) can't get enough of them. It was a wise man, whose name I forget, who said, "The human being differs from lesser animals by it's penchant for top ten lists."

I feel that there are certain things that are prevalent in our culture that makes large numbers of people go all gaga and leaves the rest of us feeling that we should really be playing catch-up. There are also, other things, that small groups of people cannot shut up about, despite the rest of us telling them to do so. This list is a combination of the those two things. I give you the Mildly Miffed Top Ten list of of the Most Overrated Things on Earth. Hopefully, you will learn to be as content with their existence (and popularity) as I have learned to be.


10: Maddox                       (Not the Best Page in the Universe despite the misleading title)
9: Mocking Hipsters        (I was doing this back when everyone else was still making fun of Emos.)
8: Mad Men                       (I’m glad the Emmy’s finally figured out this one.)
7: Dating                              (It’s too stressful. I’m just doing it to prove I am not antisocial.)
6: Fantasy Football          (I like fantasy, I like football, but I just don’t think this combination is optimal.)
5: Wedding Traditions    (By all means, get married, but can we skip the chicken dance?)
4: The Grammar Police  (You understood me. Stop being a jerk. It doesn’t make you appear smarter.)
3: Bacon                               (It’s not the culinary answer to everything! Grow up, people.)
2: Getting Drunk               (OK, why would I want to impair my reasoning and motor skills?)
1: Country Music              (I have no reason to apologize.)

By the way, there is one item on this list that I actually do really like. I just feel that it is not worthy of the worship our society gives it. Also, there is one item on this that would appear in direct contradiction to my Top Ten List of the Best Things in All of Creation. I might post that later, but I am afraid everyone would question my sanity if I did.

New lona

Yeah, go to Lona.mildlymiffed.com

I apologize in advance. I am just putting ideas out there for my current draft of the project. The final draft should be a lot smoother. In the end, I think this whole project is nothing but practice anyway.

it is late, and I have places to be tomorrow. Good night.

Sience and Reason by any other name: (Stories)

I am not sure if these have gotten posted here before, I don't see them. These are what introduced David and Sylvia.

Story 1: Science By Any Other Name

"Just shoot the one whose shells keep on landing closest to us," Sylvia demanded.

"Which one is that?" asked David.

Just then one of the tanks let off a bright flash. Sylvia steadied her bat and swung. The shell went straight up.

"Hmm, a pop fly," she mused.

"Ok, I think I know which one," David said. He drew back his bowstring. The tank was maybe a mile away. He released it. The arrow vanished into the distance. "Missed!" David readied another arrow. Just then the turret of the tank sheared off the main body. "That is quite a delay. How can anything that travels so slow fly so far, and how can it then split a tank in half? In fact, the whole idea of me destroying a tank with a bow and arrow is scientifically preposterous."

"What do you mean? It's the most scientifically sound thing you could do. Incoming!" Sylvia shouted as she deflected another shell. It flew over the horizon. "We have a hypothesis that your arrows will destroy these tanks. We have run experiments where the control group was not shot by arrows and it remained intact. The experimental group of five, make that six, thanks you have shot with arrows was completely destroyed. This supports the hypothesis. Therefore, if you desire to destroy tanks, the scientific evidence supports that you should shoot them with arrows. Duck!" Sylvia was interrupted by a shell that landed just behind her. "For some reason this just happens to not agree with all of your previous scientific models. Then again, not many people in history have tried to destroy tanks using arrows. So, your six, make that seven, highly successful experiments may very well constitute the majority of research in this particular area. In the end, it all boils down to the basic question of all science. 'Does it work?'"

"But even if it does work it doesn't make any sense," David replied.

"Maybe you just need to adjust your physical model to accommodate this new information," Sylvia said as she glanced straight up. "Hmm, that shell is coming back down." She poised herself for the swing.

"You know, that actually is incredibly insightful, but when did you learn anything about science?" David asked, although he never did get a response. Sylvia swung the bat and the crack of the bat told David it was a good swing. However, the crack of the back swing against his head sent him tumbling out of bed.

"What the? What a weird dream," he blurted out before he remembered that Sylvia was probably still asleep. The room was dark except for a slight green glimmer. Looking towards the source of the glimmer, David saw a struggling pair of wings emerging from a small lab coat entangled in his dream-catcher. Removing it from the bedpost he carried it into the kitchen and freed the fairy into an old mason with several holes punched in the lid for just such an occasion. David placed the jar on a shelf next many other oddities. Hanging the dream catcher back on the post he crawled back into bed.

Sylvia stirred and asked him, "What are you up to now?"

David said in an annoyed but soft voice, "Remember to call the landlord about that hole in the screen tomorrow morning. We had a science pixy stuck in the dream catcher."

"Well that explains my dream. I was running experiments on why trolls turn to stone in direct sunlight," she muttered somewhat clearly.

"What were your conclusions?" he asked with perked curiosity.

"I have no clue. You know I don't know the first thing about science. Happy anniversary, by the way," she muttered almost incoherently as she rolled over and went back to sleep.

David shook his head. It had now been over a year since those two annoying unicorns had dragged him out of bed and made him go on the quest to save the beautiful princess from the enchanted far-off land whom he had married her almost immediately. However, many things still did not make sense. If she was really her father's greatest treasure then why did the palace guards let her just wander off into the forbidden woods? Who builds a palace next to the forbidden woods in the first place? Why didn't her father send out anyone to free her after he discovered that the evil witch had captured Sylvia? Also, why is it that after they were married Sylvia would not be able to return to her distant enchanted land until after David finished Med school, and why did the herald who bore this news look like some high school kid from the Renaissance Fair? Furthermore, if her father, the king, were so loaded, how come they had to live in this run-down one bedroom apartment in one of those neighborhoods that generally make decent folk uncomfortable at night? Yes, there were a lot questions, but one thing was for certain: after countless magical interruptions David finally had something that might actually assist him in studying for the boards.

Story 2 Reason By Any Other Name

“You have to be a little more subtle when you’re observing people. They get the wrong idea. Do you have something to show him now?” David asked

“It’s been tinkering with the inside of that black coffee-making box,” Sylvia replied.

“I see it.” Turning to the man who was now gathering his coat, David asked, “Excuse me, sir. Do you see something odd about the espresso machine?”

“Um, no I do not.” The man glared at him. The little incident (while entirely his fault) still stung his ego.

“Well, take a closer look.”

The man approached the machine slowly, and then he stopped in disbelief. He rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Then the look of shock was complete. “I thought it was a mouse at first, but mice don’t wear pointy hats or long beards.”

“Those would be gnomes. Mmm, this is good tea. Thank you, my dear.” Sylvia said, putting down her teacup.

“But, that is not possible,” he said, making a grab at the gnome.

“And yet you are holding one in your hand,” reminded Sylvia.

Then, the gnome piped up, “I pardon you, my good sir, but would you please be kind enough to put me down?” 

The man placed the gnome on the table and slumped into a chair. “This is some kind of trick, or I am losing my mind,” he said, as he watched the gnome shuffle around the volumes on the table looking for what was only known to him.

“Why do you say that?” asked Sylvia.

“Because gnomes do not exist, and if they did run around coffee shops, people would notice them. No one else notices him. Be reasonable,” the man said, regaining his composure.

David paused, as if he was gathering his thoughts. It was not necessary, but it made a good effect, and lent credibility to that which he was about to say. This sort of acting in conversation was a learned behavior from being around Sylvia, but he accepted it as one of the hazards of marriage. “Reason is only as good as the premises on which it is based. We all tend to base our thoughts on the same premises. For instance, we assume that we can reliably observe the world around us, and that our minds are not manufacturing experiences.”

“Excuse me ma’am, may I have this?” the gnome quietly asked Sylvia as he held up a loose staple.

“Yes, go ahead and take it,” she said in a hushed and hurried voice. The gnome bounced off the table onto a chair. Then he scurried towards the espresso machine power cord, which he used to scale back to the counter from which he was removed.

“From these premises, you take your observations, and come up with the conclusion that gnomes do not exist, simply because you have no recollection of observing them.” David continued, “Now, you see something which contradicts your conclusion, and instead of assuming that your conclusion was wrong, you start to question the very premises that led to your original conclusion. In essence, your no-gnome conclusion has become the new premise, and your sanity and ability to observe are now dependent on whether or not you see gnomes.”

“I would not consider it a new premise as much a sanity check, in this case in the most literal sense of the word,” replied the man in a form familiar to him, even though the conversation was not entirely comfortable.

“It really depends on your definition of sanity,” said David. “If sanity is going with what you observe, then it would be insane to not acknowledge gnomes. If sanity is going with what would appear to be universal conclusions, then it would be utterly ridiculous to acknowledge gnomes.”

“You are painting it rather subjectively,” said the man.

“Logic is based on subjectivity,” said David. “Don’t look at me like that. While logic may be a cold, clear, and unvarying path from one idea to another, the starting point is entirely up to the thinker. Since logic is a cold clear path, where one terminates is entirely dictated by where one begins. If you start with the no-gnome premise, then logically, you cannot trust your senses or mind in this situation. If you start with the premise that you can trust these observations, then you must conclude that gnomes exist. Why others don’t appear to see them, is something that I have yet to determine. Either way, the choice of what to believe is yours.”

The man just looked at him, preparing a retort, if not logical, then at least witty, when a whistling came from the espresso machine - a bad whistle. David contemplated how it sounded like a steam engine about to explode. That was one of the two sounds that things made in movies before exploding. The other sound was a beeping noise. Why someone would take the time to put a beeper on a bomb was beyond David. David was lost in thought when Sylvia, without changing her gaze from the machine, said, “My dear, I would like a piece of that chocolate cake, the one on the bottom shelf, please.” She followed the request with a quick jab from her elbow to shift David’s focus back to her. David approached the counter, and asked the barista who was leaning against the machine, seemingly oblivious to the horrid sound it was making, for the item which required her to put herself further into the cabinet than any other item. To make the whole maneuver take even longer, David bent over and took his time selecting just the right piece of cake. Just then, the espresso machine exploded in a burst of mostly steam and a little bit of shrapnel, the largest piece being a steam-cleaned gnome. The barista pulled her head up (after hitting it on the counter, of course) cake in hand. “You saved my life.”

“I just ordered cake. Are you alright? I am a doctor,” David replied.

“I’m fine,” she uttered. Then in a louder voice, “Is everyone okay?” looking over a shop full of shaken patrons. “Here, take the cake, it’s free.”

David returned to the table, placing the cake in front of Sylvia. “How did you know?”

“There are some advantages to being a princess raised in a magical land. However, that was not supposed to happen.” She took a bite.

“You’re right. Those machines don’t explode like that,” David interjected.

“No, that is not exactly to what I am referring. That box was working perfectly when I arrived here not three hours ago. Yet, as soon as the gnome began to tinker with it, it began to misbehave. Now, it has destroyed itself in a most dangerous fashion.”

“But, gnomes don’t destroy things. They fix them, and they never put people in danger while they do it. Would you agree that was a gnome?” asked David.

“I most certainly would agree that to my senses it appeared to be a gnome. Furthermore, to my recollection there is no such thing that so closely resembles a gnome. This is most disturbing.”

At this point, the gnome was regaining consciousness, and, after shaking himself off, he made a hurried exit from the premises.

Sylvia jabbed David again. He began again, “You still have a choice: accept that what you saw today was just your senses not behaving correctly or that you have been incorrect all of these years. Don’t feel bad. We now have to cope with our own disillusionment. Don’t you think that it is funny that disillusionment is seldom welcomed, but usually beneficial?”

Sylvia interrupted, “David, you are getting off-topic, again.”

 

Lona is not in double digets!

Yes, you can go to lona.mildlymiffed.com and check out the latest comic.

Also look to the right. There are links. Click them. Click them all.

Yes, this is ten pages including the cover, and I am done with the second major segment of the comic. The next one should be up sometime this week.

In other news, I tried my had at some live sketching at the Philadelphia branch of Dr. Sketchy's It was fun, but very stressful at first. I don't generally draw things I can see. I usually draw from my head, and when I do that I am less drawing an image as much as I am projecting a form. Does that make any sense.

Well, anyway, I eventually calmed down, and discovered that I can sort of draw with both hands at once, Something that digital pads can't handle. That was a victory, but I still have a long way to go, before I will sketch anything worth saving. I will be working more drawing exercises into my weekends.

EOS 52: Re-Search

In the spirit of "Surviving the World," here is a little something I did when I should have been working on Friday.

All of you academics take note.
PS. It is late. That is my one excuse for any bad image cleanup.
Lona updates will resume as usual this week.

Comic Archiving 10: The final EOS for now

So, this little comic Project is called Eyes of Solace (Yes there is a band known as such of which I have no association.) It is a collection of one-off jokes and small stories. I have decided that having my story arcs scattered throughout different posts makes them kind of hard to read, and their resolution was not optimized for the the blogger format. So, I have made this series of ten posts to condense them all into one place. I am leaving the old ones because I want to keep the comments. They are before these posts and interspersed with blog posts and short stories! Have a look. No seriously, there is more to this blog than just the ten posts I am putting up.

Also, if you want my latest comics go to lona.mildlymiffed.com That is where I am putting my latest story.

Comic Archiving 9: Valentines Day special

Here is a set of three comics done in three days to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my first comic. Click to enlarge.

Comic Archiving 8: Natalie and Mark

Here is an extension of a story arc that was meant to serve as back-story for an EOS Based Graphic Novel. I am still pondering the story. I am not sure what form it will eventually take. I might just write it into a novel. It also fleshes out a number of relationships.

It is worth noting here that I put a ton of filler strips between these two parts of the story arcs. I retroactively made them part of the discussion.

Comic Achiving 7: more filler

Here are a couple of more one-off comics I did last summer.

  

Comic Archicing 6: The Shark-Blimp Chronicals

Because everyone was asking about Shark-Blimp. I'll give a back-story for everything.

Comic Archiving 5: filler posts

 Here are a couple of posts I put in between story arcs in or just to do something fast.

Comic Archiving 4: David and Sylvia

This was where I introduced my two favorite characters in graphic form. If you go through older posts, you will find several short stories with them.

Comic Archiving 3: the first pure digital comic

Here is me my first day I got a tablet.

Comic Archiving 2: the first story arc

Here is my first attempt at a story arc.