Time to wake up

The time change got me. It wasn't like I was really late for anything, but waking up late always haunts me. This is mainly because it is the end to one of the four activities that I actually do these days. Eat, sleep, run, and work. Don't go to grad school if you aren't willing to sacrifice everything for your craft, but that will soon be ending. Thus, I must find a real job and get up on time. This necessitates an alarm clock and the ever important question, "what sound shall it make." Now, assuming that we live in a world where alarm clocks will play whatever we want them to, I will run down a list of my top 10 alarm clock songs.

10: "Here it Goes Again" by OKGO
Let us start this thing off with a simple fact. You don't want to be up, but like every day, here it goes again. It is kind of a cartoon thing to say. My advice is to pretend you are in a cartoon as long as you possibly can each morning. I don't know what that will get you, but it has worked for me so far.


9: "Manic Monday" by The Bangles
This song would be higher, but it really is only tied to one day a week. Still, it is surprisingly sunny enough to get you going, and let's face it. On Monday, you need all of the help you can get. I am particularly terrible with Monday mornings, probably why I haven't worked one in years. Ug, if I have to take a forced leave of absence, Monday mornings are what I am knocking off.
 
8: "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes
I find myself waking up and singing this song. It's pretty awesome 90's music and useful during the early morning confusion. If you find yourself sleeping through it, you can try the more up-tempo  He-Man version. It's got that great disco sound to get you moving. If you find yourself sleeping through that, there is the 10 hour He-Man version. If you find yourself sleeping through that, then seek help. You are either (A) partying harder than Jon St. John, (B) experiencing a severe sleeping disorder, or (C) in a coma.

7: "Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison
Speaking of comas, this is the proper song to listen to while in a coma. I am not saying that it will wake you out of a coma, but according to an episode of "Scrubs" this is the proper one to hear once a day when in such a condition, and Ted and Carla can't be wrong.
Now, my suggestion is to not use the completely awesome Heavy Metal original. Instead, record an a cappella version of yourself doing all of the parts. Come on. Don't be embarrassed. No one would dare make fun of someone in a coma for bad singing, at least not until you have recovered, but then hey, you just got out of a coma. So, they can go pound sand for all you care.

6: "Blitzkrieg Bop" by The Ramones
If you need a throw you out of bed song, this is the one. It is kind of short. So put it on repeat. I, personally, would rig the snooze button to have it start another loop concurrently with the previous one. Keep hitting the snooze button until the indecipherable cacophony is too much to handle.

5: "Everyday is a Winding Road" by Sheryl Crow
This one took me a while. Then, it hit me and the list was complete. Anyway, sometimes, waking up isn't so bad. Sometimes, it is exciting and full of possibility. Usually, these days are the weekends, but they can be any day. Maybe, that is the lesson here. I dunno.

4: "Good Morning Good Morning" by The Beatles
I am not putting a link. If you don't have this song, take a minute and a dollar and download it, or take several minutes and several dollars, and run out to the store and get the album (Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band). Are you back? Now, listen to it? Done? Good. No explanation necessary.  I mean, they would woke up the shuttle astronauts with this song, and you didn't have it until just now. Shame on you. Kids these days...

3: "Chelsea Morning" by Neil Diamond
 Listen to this song in Chelsea Michigan, on Chelsea Ave. in Rockford Illinois, in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York City, on the Chelsea River in Ireland, or if your name is "Chelsea." If none of those apply, just image that one does and that it is a perfect day. A little delusion can go a long way, or at least until you get a hot shower and some coffee. (If you don't have this in your Neil Diamond collection, what is wrong with you?)

2: "I Got You, Babe." by Sonny and Cher 
You know why this song is here. I suppose if you you ever think you may need a do-over. Just play this song on the day of interest, then that night set it to play the next morning. That should be enough to create a time loop, right? Hmm, I've heard this was the plot to "Primer," but no-one is actually clear on that.

1: "It's the End of the World as We Know it" by R.E.M.
There was no question in my mind what was going to be number 1. Part of it is an homage to Independence Day, and part of it is how I like to wake up. It's not enough for me to just take on the day, I have to take on the end of the world. Besides, everything is falling apart anyway. So, you might as well pump yourself up for it. Now, there is a question of version. I know what you are thinking, "How can anything surpass the original REM?" Well, I have to admit that there is something to be said about the Suicide Machines version. First off, I like the faster tempo, and it is part of a great FLCL music video. By the way, if you are not familiar with my favorite Anime (FLCL), the you are missing out. It explains a lot about me.

OK, that is about it. I admit that I should have substituted "Ants Marching" for "Chelsea Morning" but I just didn't want to. You can pretend that things are different in your own little world. I won't stop you.

Also, look to the next post to contain a little programming challenge.